The conversation he never had... (2)

The phone blinked for the 6th time now. I picked it up.
"What's wrong with you ?" - said the concerned voice on the other end.
"Nothing, I was busy" - I protested.
I have been trying hard not to think about her for a few months now.
"I know you very well. What is that's bothering you ?" - she enquired.
"Nothing" - trying my best to act as aloof as possible.
"Fine, be murky. What are you doing on April 15th ?"
"I don't know. I don't plan my day 6 months in advance."
"I'm getting married !....
Hello ?
No comments ?
Are you there ?"

I was there. But I was unable to think or speak, for that matter.
"Helllloooo ?"
"Yes, It's good. I mean Congrats, great news" - and I kept the phone down.

I couldn't speak anything sensible. I couldn't even comprehend what was happening.
She called again. And again.
I am incapable of handling situations like this. I'm always at a loss of words.
She was my friend.
I was supposed to be happy. For her.
But I was sad. Was it because she was more than a friend ?
How could I be happy knowing she could never be mine ?

तुम

बिछ्रने का वो गम,

जुदाई का वो दर्द,

क्या यह सिर्फ एक एहसास है,

या फिर प्यार का इज़हार है...

तुम नहीं होते तो ऐसा होता,

तुम नहीं होते तो वैसा होता,

ज़िन्दगी जो है यह मेरी, ना जाने,

तुम्हारे बिना कैसे पूरा होता...

मुलाकात हुई है हमारी जबसे,

बेचैनी सी है दिल में तबसे,

किसी रोज़ सोचा न था ऐसे,

बेक़रार रहूँगा मिलने के लिए तुमसे |

Miles to go...

Eyes with dreams,

Heart with hope,

I pack my bags,

And walk the road.

Struggle is long,

Night is on,

I walk alone,

And sing the song.

Nights to go,

Days to conquer,

Among the free spirits,

And here I wander.

The day will come,
And the rain will go,
Stay with me, Oh lovely,
We have miles to go...

The conversation he never had... (1)

It was a common friend's wedding. He greeted her with his usual smile. But there was pain in those eyes. He was seeing her after 2 years. And hardly a word came out.
He was lost: in her eyes - which spoke a thousand words, in her smile - which held his heart, in her arms - inviting for that hug... He looked like a confused kid who cannot contain his excitement in a toy store.

He held her hand shyly and took her away from the madness inside. There was so much to say, so much to do.. All he could manage was to look into her eyes. The same eyes he fell in love with, 4 years back.

He met her at a friend's place for the first time. They had a chemistry, everyone said. Although they interacted very less but they filled that gap in each other's lives. Maybe the pizza and the swing, on the last day of his trip, bonded the two souls. Few phone calls and trips later, it seemed to be a matter of time before one popped the question.
The only thing constant in life is change. She got a job offer which was tough to refuse. Long hours at work, frequent tours and the zeal to succeed created a space, tough to imagine. Frequent calls gave way to weekly sms, visits stopped completely. He tried getting engrossed in work, which didn't help either. Calls ended up as missed calls. Ego also pitched in.

And here he was, after 2 long years, with her. He was not going to let her go this time. He tightened his hold. A sense of belonging gripped him. She looked a lot more composed. May be girls do mature early. However, the pain in her eyes was pretty evident. She carried the burden long enough not to suffer from the effects.
Time flies when you are in the right company. An hour passed by, and the eavesdroppers gave up the hope of hearing anything. The heaviness in his heart seemed to ease a bit, but still far from the normal weight.
He wanted to open his heart, to take her into his arms but the surroundings didn't help much. Too much noise and too many people. The peace was missing. Expecting Indian marriages to be calm and without the craziness, well, is not an Indian marriage.

Fille !